As social beings, we are tied together in many ways – lovers, friends, colleagues, siblings, etc. We relate with one another in awesome ways.
But we get separated in some awful ways too.
Lovers break up, friends fight, and brothers butcher one another.
We know those things that scatter us as a people, but we seem not to care about them. Many of us throw every caution into the winds when at the verge of a separation. We fight like lions and think as if such relationships can never ever be salvaged.
Many things divide us, but 10 of them are quite common. Let’s look at them in turn:
Money is a “master divider” of people. Its absence from a man-woman relationship could easily cause a break up. Similarly, its presence could create a huge problem out of greed.
Go to the law courts to learn more about the divisive power of money. Partners, friends, associates, and even lovers sue each other all because of money. And what happens at the end – division!
Little wonder why it is said that “we don’t return from the law court and remain friends.”
We are close friends, aren’t we? Wait till there is a vacant position to be filled.
That’s when close colleagues become arch enemies. That’s when brothers plot against each other. And that’s when mysterious accidents and deaths play their dreadful roles.
Position, like money, gives power, but divides people.
Right from the times of our great ancestors has the issue of women earned the inglorious title of ‘separator.’ From the children of Israel to the men of Egypt; women have always divided people against one another.
In Africa, most especially in Nigeria, it is considered a shameful thing for your woman to be snatched by another man under your nose. You would rather fight to finish as a man to preserve your dignity.
But things are changing. Women now fight over men, and they do so with acid baptism in most cases. Guess it’s all because men – good men – adorable guys – are gradually going into extinction.
Hey! Where are all the good men?
Money, we can understand. Position, we can comprehend.
It’s sheer craziness.
It is one of the greatest dividers of people. Thousands of people have lost their lives, limbs, and property in the name of religion.
It’s so appalling.
If you’re from one of the advanced countries where people make necessary pre-death plans for their estate, it may sound weird to hear that people in other climes fight seriously over the property left behind by a deceased father, mother, or spouse.
It is hard to fathom, but it is a fact and indeed a common phenomenon in Africa. Someone would die, leave everything he has behind, and a couple of characters would begin to fight over his property.
In this part of the world, people kill over what they did not sweat for. And as far as they are concerned, inheritance, in their dictionary, includes the deceased’s property, wife, and children. What a shame!
Another thing that often put a gulf between people is political leaning. If A and B belong to two different political parties, for instance, it should be expected that their political ideas and beliefs will be quite different.
Ordinarily, that shouldn’t be an issue if the ideologies of each political party, however different, is in the interest of the general populace. Unfortunately, many play politics of bitterness.
A is ready to kill B, and C is prepared to maim D because of politics – politics of self interest. That’s why politicians spend millions on armored vehicles to save their heads, and hooliganism becomes a profitable ‘occupation’ during campaign periods.
As people intermarry across ethnic boundaries, so also does ethnicity divide them in other ways.
In Nigeria, people remember your village when it comes to political appointments.
In America, an aggrieved Republican is likely to claim that Obama is from Africa when it comes to presidential election.
As it is in Africa, so it is in America; only the proclivity differs.
On one rainy Saturday morning in Lagos, a man fell into a ditch full of dirty water and within a few seconds, some guys dived inside to save the man’s life.
There stood this Yoruba woman who was full of compassion for the man; pointing and directing the rescuers on what to do to bring the man out of the trench.
Finally, the victim was brought out alive and the woman moved closer, poured some water on him, and bent down to wipe off his face.
All of a sudden, she sprang up, dropped the bottle of water on the man’s lap, hissed loudly and said, “Mola ti e ni – so he’s even an ordinary Mallam.”
She walked away disappointed.
In other words, she couldn’t see why she should have dissipated so much energy on an ordinary Hausa man (colloquially called ‘Mola’ or ‘Mallam’ in Lagos).
Would her reaction have been the same if the victim were a Yoruba man? Quite doubtful.
8. Family Members
One can quickly notice this when a father or mother makes that almighty dreadful pronouncement to their daughter, “Sorry, you can’t marry him.”
That could be the end of any relationship that such a daughter (or son) may be having at that moment.
9. Social Network
Oh yes, we are all expected to be “friends” on Facebook but, sorry, that’s not always the case. A number of people find it more convenient to settle scores on Facebook, Twitter, or BB.
When next you see a lady post something like “Men are evil” on her Facebook Wall and a guy responds “Ladies are worse,” you should know that something is fishy somewhere; and it could be the beginning of a battle that will eventually lead to a division.
If social network is the modern instrument that unite and divide us, music must then be its older brother. Many have used music to yab (abuse), curse, or correct in the past. And some still do till today.
No doubt, life would be much better if only we could use those things that often divide us to strengthen us. As they say, ants achieve better results when they stay together.
We are not ants, so we should be able to achieve mega results if we relate better with one another.