Hi Pastor! I Have a Question for You

“Hello everyone!”

“Hello Pastor!”

“Hiiii”

“Hi Pastor!”

“Hope you’re all doing great.”

“Yes, Pastor. But it’s been quite a while you last addressed us.”

“Yes, Michael, I apologise to everyone. I’ve been so busy with the work of God; travelling across the world to spread the Good News.”

“Wow! How was your trip sir?”

“Very nice, my people. It’s been so many trips across the globe. I’m so happy to see all of you again.”

“We’re happy to see you too, Pastor. Hope you enjoyed your trips, sir.”

“Oh yes, Deborah! The Spirit of the Lord moved in mighty ways. All the people got blessed abundantly. You see, I was not too surprised. I knew that miracles would happen. For instance, the guys in Atlanta came to welcome me at the airport and we rode to my hotel in a Lamborghini. They kept me in Marriot Hotel for weeks. A similar thing happened when I moved to Canada; our brothers and sisters hosted me at Park Hyatt hotel. I enjoyed similar treatments in Australia, UK, Germany, France, South Africa, Japan, and Belgium. Those guys are wonderful, and God really, really, moved!”

“Prai…prai…praiiiisssseee the Looorrrddddd!!!!”

“Hallelluyaaaaahhhhhiiii”

“Thank you! Thank you! Our Lord is good.”

“All the time!”

“You may all sit down.”

“Thank you, Pastor.”

“Can anyone of you remember the last topic we treated here before I travelled out of the country?”

“Yes, pastor. We discussed, ‘Why Electronic Bible is Not a True Bible.’

“Really? Are you sure, Michael?”

“No, pastor, Michael is wrong. We dealt with that topic since December 2013! The last topic was ‘7 Reasons to Dump Your Pastor and Join My church!’ It was discussed on radio in April 2014 sir.”

“Correct! Please clap for Gabriel. He has a very good memory.”

“Thank you, Pastor.”

“Today, I have another interesting topic for you. It is my hope that after this session, I will stop receiving complaints from some of you.”

“Complaints?”

“Yes. Many of you have been complaining that when I preach, I don’t give you the opportunity to ask questions.”

“Yes, Pastor, I’ve been wondering why you don’t give us the opportunity sir.”

“Relax, Deborah. That’s why I’ve decided to talk about it today. You see, when a pastor is preaching, none of you has the right to raise up your hand and say, ‘Hey pastor, I have a question, please!’

“But, pastor, that’s wrong sir. I have been wondering why it is the practice of all of you pastors to keep us quiet during your sermons.”

“As I said, Emeka, take it easy. That’s why we’re here today.”

“OK, shoot on sir.”

“Good. You see, when a pastor is preaching, he’s not the one speaking. It is God that is speaking to you all, so you don’t have the right to question God.”

“Haaa, pastooorrrr!”

“Yes, I mean it. A pastor is God’s representative, so anything you hear from him during a sermon, you must take it that it is God Himself that is speaking.”

“But, pastor, even people questioned Jesus Christ whenever He was preaching to them; why is it now impossible for us to ask our pastors questions when they’re preaching.”

“Well, Michael, the answer is very simple. The congregation of today is different from the one that Jesus spoke to. Today, you people are too intelligent so you may ask questions that will infuriate God.”

Haa, Pastor!”

“That’s the truth.”

“So, pastor, does that mean we must just take anything you tell us like zombies without any form of questioning?”

“That’s it. The church is a solemn place. You must bow down your head and heart and listen to God as He speaks to you. You have no right to question Him. Even if I say to you during my sermon that you should go back home to bring all the money you have in your safe, you must obey. That’s the voice of God.”

“But pastor, you once told us that God gave all of us the free will to think and act the way we like.”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“In that case, are you not contradicting yourself right now?”

“No, I’m not. You still have the right to ask questions during the early Sunday School or Bible Classes that take place during the week.”

“But pastor, some of us don’t have the time to attend the Bible classes during the week because of our work, so the only opportunity we have is when you’re on the pulpit on Sunday.”

“That’s a useless excuse, Emeka. Sunday school starts at 8.00 on Sunday morning, how come you don’t get to church on time to benefit from the session?”

“Pastor, you’re not always part of that session. Those who even teach people at that period require some guidance, because they’re not too different from us.”

“Emeka, Emekaaaa, I knew you would say that. But let me tell you, if you get to church after the Sunday school session, you should consider yourself absent from church the whole of that Sunday. That’s the way God views church attendance. You must be there for Sunday school session.”

“But that’s not easy, pastor.”

“That’s the way it is. And that’s why only a few of you will enter Heaven.”

Haaa, pastor!”

“Please don’t ‘haaa’ me again. Last Sunday, I checked the total amount realised after the end of Sunday school session and was surprised to see how small it was. That has always been the pattern. You people deny God of His entitlements by failing to attend bible classes and Sunday school sessions. I want all of you to know that by doing that, you’re drawing back the work of God.”

“Pastoooooorrrrr!!!”

“In fact, I’m getting upset now.”

“OK, pastor, just tell us, what should we do anytime we don’t agree with whatever you say to us during your sermon?”

“It’s simple: Do as I said before. Exercise your free will – the free will that God has given to each of you.”

“How do we do that, pastor?”

“Guys, you have three options: You can doze off during my sermon; you can begin to chat on your phone; or you can pick your bag and leave the church.”

Haa, pastor! But you won’t like that!”

“Forget whether I like it or not; it is your free will, exercise it at will.”