Ministerial Appointment Interview Sessions with Buhari and Tinubu (Part 2)

“Hello!”

“Hello! Good afternoon sir.”

“Good afternoon.”

“Please, am I speaking to His Excellency, Senator Tinubu?”

“Yes, Jagaban here. Who is speaking?”

“Sir, I’m the gentleman who spoke to you two days ago. I’m scheduled for a Ministerial interview session with you today, but you asked that I should first call to agree time and venue of our…”

“Oh yes! I remember. Please pardon my forgetfulness.”

“It’s OK sir. I’m calling as agreed, sir.”

“You see, the session can’t hold again today. I’m so sorry about this but the realities on ground have made it practically impossible for the interview session to hold as planned… Hello! Are you still there?”

“Yes, I’m with you, sir.”

“Please don’t be disappointed. I will briefly explain things to you so that you can understand what is going on. First, the president is travelling out today and we need to sort out a couple of things together before he leaves.”

“Oh, this is good news to me, sir.”

“How do you mean?”

“Sir, it’s good news to hear that you and the president are touching base with each other today. That’s contrary to what the general public think about the two of you.”

“Wait a minute, which president do you think I’m talking about?”

“President Jonathan, sir…”

“Don’t give me that crap maan! I know of only one president in this country today. I’m talking about our president, your president, and my president, President Muhammadu Buhari. If you still talk about one Jonathan or whoever you say he is, I don’t know him, and I don’t want to know him.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I just thought Jonathan remains the president of this country until the handover day of Friday, 29th May, 2015. That’s why I thought…”

“Keep your thoughts to yourself, gentleman. By the way, if you believe he’s your president, how come he’s not solving your fuel wahala for you right now? Or, are you telling me that the fuel crisis is not affecting you like other Nigerians?”

“Ah, the situation is terrible, sir. I bought fuel at N250 per litre this morning. It is horrible, sir.”

“Now you’re talking. In fact, that’s another reason why I won’t be able to meet with you today. None of my two Personal Assistants is here yet. They both phoned me earlier today that they could not get fuel to buy for their cars. And there is no assurance that they would be lucky to get it before the end of the day.”

“Waoh!”

“If you look down Bourdillon Street here right now, it is as empty as anything. I’m told that it’s the same thing on Awolowo Road and Kingsway Road here in Ikoyi. What sort of government do you think we have in this country?”

“Sir, I understand the problem is that …”

“Whatever you must have heard or understood is a lie. This is a lying government with a bunch of liars. They will never tell you the truth.”

“But, sir, I was going to say that…”

“Let me tell you, the problem is that you have a president who does not have action. The man is ‘actionless’. That’s why some of us have been clamoring for change, and I’m particularly happy that change has finally come. Change is already here. Relief is already on the way. It is time for the liberation of the Nigerian people from the claws of tyranny and incorrigibility.”

“Sir, I don’t think the problem is Jonathan and his…”

“Don’t tell me that, young man. All I know is that this is an irresponsible government that doesn’t care about the people. In fact, we have a government that likes taking it’s people through rounds and rounds of sufferings.  With the new change, never again will the Nigerian people have to queue for fuel in the scorching sun as they’re doing right now. Never again will the Naira be heartlessly bastardized as Jonathan government has done. Never again will you have to depend on generators to get light in your house. Never! Never! Never again! Are you still there?”

“Yes, I’m here, sir.”

“Anyway, you have to come over here for your interview on Wednesday. I can only hope that you will get fuel inside your car to bring you down to Bourdillon.”

“I will, sir.”

“Ha, haann, don’t be too optimistic, young man. From the information we have at our disposal, this fuel scarcity thing is artificial and laden with political vengeance. Jonathan and his cohorts don’t want a smooth handover to take place on Friday but they’re just deceiving themselves.”

“But I don’t think they will want to do that, sir. After all, the president willingly conceded defeat to Buhari so why would he want to scuttle the handover part of the …”

“Stop! Please stop this nonsense you’re telling me. By the way, what on earth do you know about politics? Goddam it!”

“I’m pretty sorry to upset you, sir.”

“You see, when we are telling you guys something you just have to listen. I am repeating to you that this government and its failing and crumbling PDP party are all on a payback mission with Nigerian. They’re punishing all of us because we used the APC broom to sweep them away. Yet, they aren’t seen nothing. Let everyone just wait till after 29th May.”

“But sir, can I …”

“I hope you also know the type of problem this present government is leaving behind for Buhari to inherit? In case you didn’t know and you’re finally appointed as one of his Ministers, I want you to bear in mind that this government is inheriting a whopping debt of 60 billion US dollars. Did you hear me…60 billion US dollars! Yet, when Rotimi said the other day that Nigeria is broke they all called for his head to be cut off. It is absurd! Arrant stupidity!”

“But, sir, I understand the Minister of Finance disagrees with that figure. She’s quoted to have put the debt amount at 18 billion dollars; not 60 billion dollars…”

“Nonsense! Absolute nonsense! Can you imagine! What’s the difference? Do you know how much that is in Nigerian Naira? Look, they’ve stolen all the money and they’re leaving us with an empty pocket. It’s a big disaster for all of us in this country, I tell you.”

“Hmmm…”

“Anyway, you don’t have to say any other thing. See me on Wednesday.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And you better be prepared when coming as I need to be sure that you’re with us.”

“I am, sir.”

“Well, you will have to convince me when you get here on Wednesday as I have a feeling that you’re one of Jonathan’s boys given the way you’re defending him.”

“Ah, please don’t misunderstand me sir, I’m only trying to…”

“Don’t worry, let’s wait till Wednesday.”

“Okay sir.”

“By for now.”

“Goodbye sir.”

O shee. O dabo na.”

“Yes sir.”

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1 comment on “Ministerial Appointment Interview Sessions with Buhari and Tinubu (Part 2)”

  1. This was a good read. I like the flow of the writting and the consistent two party conversation mode.

    Good Job, Keep it up

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