“My Horrible Experiences With Nigerian Men” – The Story of a Lady Job Seeker.

Today, I am publishing an interesting mail received from a lady job seeker called Rose and I will leave you to reach your own conclusions after reading it. Except for a little editing that I did on the mail for grammatical accuracy, brevity, and concealment of certain identities; the entire story remains as told by Rose. Enjoy it.

Hi,

My name is Rose and I am a staunch follower of your blog, particularly the Love & Relationship section. You’re doing a great job over there so keep the flag flying.

My only problem has to do with one of your posts, “Thumbs Up for Nigerian Men” where you spoke about Nigerian men as if they are human beings. Nigerian men are devils and by the time you finish reading my story you will understand my reasons.

I am under 30, and graduated from a Canadian university about four years ago. I have a degree in Economics.

I was a job seeker in Nigeria until about two months ago when I finally jet out of the country. I want to tell you about my ordeals of over three years of searching for job in Nigeria. You have my 100% permission to publish it on your website.

After my graduation in Canada, dad insisted that I must return home. He didn’t want me to stay back in Canada for the fear that I might not get married on time. He was a kind of dad who believed that all his children must marry Nigerians.

Anyway, dad passed away three months after my arrival in Lagos and, to say the least, his death shattered my life. He was such a good man.

His death meant a lot to me and my siblings. All his hopes and aspirations just went into the winds like that. It was so tragic.

Before his death, dad had always assured me that I would get a good job in Nigeria.  So I didn’t entertain any fears. He gave me notes to six of his friends in different industries and they all gave me one promise or the other. So I felt secure.

In actual fact, I didn’t do much of job searching during my first month of arrival in Lagos. I was basically re-acclamatizing and re-connecting with friends and relatives. It was only in the second month that I started going to those places that dad directed me to.

Unfortunately, death struck in the third month of my return and I had to spend another month mourning dad’s death.

After getting over the whole episode, I went back to one of dad’s friend who had promised me a job. The first time I went there, he was said to have travelled so I had to go back the following week. This time, he was around.

He’s a close friend of the family so I call him “uncle.”

“Uncle” gave me an appointment for 3.00PM on that day but when I got there he asked the secretary to make me comfortable at his waiting room because he was at a meeting. God, I waited for him till 7.15PM.

When he finally saw me, he apologized for the delay and promised to take me back home.

To my surprise, “uncle” appeared not to be in a hurry to close from work that day. His secreatry left us there at about 8.00PM but uncle was still working. He gave me tea and biscuit, put on the TV for me to watch, and kept me engaged in his office by sharing different stories with me as he went through some files.

I had no idea of what was in his mind.

Anyway, let me cut the story short.

At about 9.30PM, he packed his things and called his driver to take them into the car. He then went to the door, locked it and came to sit beside me. He said he needed to lock the door for security reasons as we were the only two left inside the office.

To the greatest surprise of my life, uncle started speaking in parables. He spoke about how he had always admired me; how he so much liked me; how he wished he could be my lover blah, blah, blah.

I was dazed.

The next thing, he placed his hand on my lap, and asked me to “be nice to him.” He began to promise me heaven and earth: “I will give you any job you want, I will go on holiday with you to the US, I will buy you a car of your choice…”

God, I was totally dumbfounded. This was a man of 57 –  my late dad’s bossom friend for that matter! His daughter and I are even friends.

Before I knew what was happening, “uncle’s” hands were all over me and he was about to do something terribly silly. I wanted to shout. I began to struggle and started weeping but he didn’t care. All he could say was, “Calm down, Rose, calm down…”

Suddenly, NEPA took off the light and the whole place was in total darkness. I sprang up and held my handbag to my chest.

Then there was a knock at the door. It was his driver bringing in a touchlight so he went to open the door for him. I saw that as a great opportunity to bolt.

I ran fast past him and the driver and he kept calling, “Rose, where are you going. Wait…”

I was gone!

It was a sad story I couldn’t tell my mum for a very long time.

I hate the man like a snake till today.

I went to the other people that dad had introduced me to, but nothing came out of it. Many of my father’s friends even started behaving as if they didn’t know me the moment our father died. I kept asking, “Is this the way Nigerian men are?”

I had another horrible experience last year. This time, it was with someone that a friend introduced me to. He works in an oil company.

When I went to his office, he took all my details and promised to get back to me within two weeks. I was so happy and full of expectation.

Then one Friday evening, I got a BB message from him that said, “Can you make it to Abeokuta tomorrow?”

Instead of replying him, I actually called to find out what was happening. He then explained to me that his company was having a business retreat there and he would like me to come over so he could introduce me to his boss in a good atmosphere.

I jumped at it.

By 2.00PM the following day, I was at their hotel in Abeokuta.

He received me very well and asked them to give me lunch. He promised that he would let me return to Lagos that same day. So, I waited for them to finish their session which he assured me would end at about 4.00PM.

Hmmm, bros didn’t come out until around 6.00PM. he just kept me waiting there at the reception like a whore.

At about that kind 6.00PM, he came to apologize for the delay and said that they would all be out for early dinner in another 30 minutes.

I didn’t see his face again until 8.30PM when he and all his colleagues came out for a “short break” as he called it. I then asked when I would be seeing his boss but he said he was still inside the hall.

At that stage, he started to talk about the danger of plying the Lagos-Abeokuta road at night and suggested that I should wait till the following morning. He said he would arrange a room for me.

I trusted him. I was so desperate for a job and there wasn’t anything to suggest that he was up to something with me.

A few minutes after 9.00PM, I was already in a decent room he booked for me at the hotel. They gave me dinner and drinks in the room and I felt so comfortable.

Then I started another round of waiting until I became tired of watching Africa Magic and slept off.

The next thing I would hear was a knock at my door at about 11.30PM. It was him.

He breezed past me, dropped his seminar papers on the table and started apologizing again.

The way he started moving about the room immediately suggested that he planned to stay in there for the night.

I summoned the courage to ask him his room number but he simply smiled and said that he planned to stay with me to keep my company for the night.

I started protesting.

He sat beside me on the bed, told me how beautiful I am, and how dearly he would like us to be lovers.

This was a a married man with wife and kids at home. A man I so much respected! Why would he lure me all the way to Abeokuta just to sleep with me?

“Oh, not again!” I mummured. He appeared not to have heard.

He then began the usual pattern of promises. He would make sure I get the job. He would ensure that they give me a good position. I should just cooperate and “treat him well”.

Ah, men are horrible!

Honestly, it was not easy for me. I struggled hard but he was more powerful. He finally had his way.

He had his way that night; I had no job from him thereafter.

Today, I feel like killing him. Men are meant to be shot dead.

I cannot tell you how many things I suffered in my attempts to get a job in Nigeria. I’ve had a lot of bad experiences that space cannot allow me to recount here.

One guy refused to accept my CV at his office. He told me that he would call me later to explain how to make the submission. Two days later, I got a call from him asking me to bring the CV to XYZ hotel in Ikeja. Can you believe that?

Another one asked me to meet him at the airport sometime ago only to get there to realize that he had already bought air tickets for both of us to fly to Abuja. Can anyone imagine that kind of craziness? All because of a job oo.

Men are crazy.

If I can pardon all those stupid men who have tried to take advantage of my joblessness condition, what do I say about one so called man of God that my sister introduced me to for spiritual assistance to get a job. The useless pastor prayed for me and told me all the spiritual things I needed to do. Though I was reluctant, my sister made sure that I did those things.

Few days later, I got a text from the pastor asking me to meet him at a particular eatery because of a revelation he just had concerning my job issue. I rushed there hoping for the best.

He bought some snacks and drinks and told me that the Lord had revealed to him that I would get a job before the end of that month unfailingly. I was so happy.

Just as I was clearing my tray to leave the place, he asked me to wait a bit because there was an important issue he needed to discuss with me. That was how he started to tell me all sorts of rubbish – he would like to go out with me, he would want us to be closer etc. This was the same pastor whose preaching I had just listened to on tape and he was hotly condemning the exact thing he now wanted to do with me!

I was so upset and sprang up to leave. But he held my hand and slightly shoved me back on the seat.

That got me more infuriated and I started shouting at him, “You’re a useless pastor! How can you do this to me? Your place is in hell…blah, blah, blah.” I couldn’t control my emotions any longer.

Within a few minutes, all eyes were on the two of us. And the terrible man had the gut to tell everyone who cared to listen that they shouldn’t mind me. He said  I was one of his church members who was under some spiritual spell. I got madder and slapped his face.

I actually created a scene at that place on that day but I have no regrets for what I did. Not after what had happened to me at Abeokuta.

How many of my ugly experiences will I talk about? My eyes have seen hell in the course of looking for a job in Nigeria.

Let me give you one more before I stop.

I went to one man’s office and he was so honest with me. He told me the truth that there was no vacancy at that period but would ask the HR people to keep my CV in view.

As I was about leaving his office, he asked where I was going and I told him. He then said he was sending his driver towards the same direction so the guy could drop me somewhere along the way.

I thanked him and left with the driver.

As soon as I sat in the car beside this useless driver, he started interviewing me on my mission to his boss. He then went ahead to boast of how close he was to his boss and all other big shots in the office, and promised to help me get the job.

I thanked him so much and said I would be happy if he could do that.

Hmm, wonders shall never end. I couldn’t believe what happened next. This useless guy stretched his right hand towards me, placed the dirty thing on my laps, and started talking gibberish. He too wanted to have me. Imagine! Driver!

I don’t know how many ladies have had similar experiences but I can tell you that all those bad acts on the part of Nigerian men have put them in my black book forever.

The good news sha, is that I found my way back in Canada in July and I feel better for it.

I thank God for His help.

You men out there are so heartless!

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14 thoughts on ““My Horrible Experiences With Nigerian Men” – The Story of a Lady Job Seeker.”

  1. I am so sorry for the terrible treatment and abysmal disrespect that you suffered. You are now, however, much wiser and can transmit this information to other unsuspecting women and girls. That man who raped you should be locked up. The pastor is a criminal and should be removed from his post. The other men should be made to answer for their harrassment of you, as well. i shudder to think of the perhaps many other women they have victimized and, sadly. Unless someone or something stops these predators, they will continue harming women. They shamelessly betrayed your father’s trust and disrespected even their own wives and families. I thank you very much for your story and what I also see as your triumph, of sorts. Do know that not all men are this way. I pray you get whatever help you may need to deal with the anger. Be successful in your career and please do remember that loving, considerate, honorable men do exist. Thank you, again.

  2. Dear Rose. Thanks alot for taking the time to share your experiences with us. There are much lessons to learn from your ordeal. But one thing I want you to understand is that such men you came across are everywhere not in Nigeria alone. Please don’t assume that all men are evil because of the few mischievous men you were unfortunate to encounter when you came to Nigeria. There are still honest men out there that can stand by their words. In all God knows why you had to go through what you experienced.
    My advice to all ladies, always pray to God for guidance so that you don’t fall into the hands of men with evil intention. Do not allow desperation and anxiety lead you into a trap.
    To all men try to control the your hormones. Be sincere and honest when dealing with both genders. A responsible man is one who utilises every opportunity to know how to control his vices and lives with a sincere and clean mind.

  3. I have worked with both Nigerian and Kenyan people(men) over the years in UK.
    I found people from Nigeria, very rude, stuck up, and money orientated/greedy.
    However people frome Kenya, very friendly, easygoing, polite thrustworty….I don’t know how to understand this..at first I thought that they were individual cases, however over the years I found theese qualities to repeat.

  4. I’m sorry to be the one to say this, but Rose actually seems rather naive, in my opinion. Yes, I agree that these men were dead wrong for how they treated her, but I also think her desperation for a job clouded her good judgment and landed her in situations that MOST women would have found suspicious. Take the “retreat” for instance. No self-respecting woman would have waited that long to talk to a potential employer. That they didn’t respect Rose enough to be on-time should have been an indicator that that wasn’t a company/business worth working for, but still she waited over 4 hours, when the average woman would have declined the opportunity and left much sooner. Rose encountered negative incident after negative incident, but she still went into each one with blind trust as though she’d learned nothing from the bad situations she’d previously experienced. As the saying goes: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” With that said, I have a hard time feeling sorry for women who repeatedly put themselves in compromising positions with men they don’t/hardly know. Ladies, please use some common sense and stop trusting people who have done nothing to earn it!

  5. So so true, but unimmaginable. It is what it is – animalistic tendencies; it is not peculiar to Nigerian Men , it is present in all human beings. That is why civilization, equity, justice, good conscience, believe in God will distinguish human beings from devils. It is not peculiar to this age as we’ve all had our share of this shameless behaviour. I had to rush down the stircase avoiding the lift at about 8pm one unforgetable night whilst waiting for a trumped -up interview or whatever you want to call it. By the time I arrived at the ground floor, my hair was flying at every direction and the securitymen I met were asking whether the lift was not working, I just ignored them and continued running until I got home. Only God would save our daughters. My advise is – do not sell yourself, no matter the price, you have been purchased with a price no man can afford to pay; Jesus paid for everything; nothing to sell or negotiate.

  6. Thank you all very much for all your advices. I have already learned my lessons and I hope my story can help other people who find the,mselves in a similar situations.

  7. Hmm Rose,sorry for all that u have gone through, i have also gone through such a horrible experience before,i know how u feel,please take heart,it shall be well. Please take care of yourself.

  8. Wow this a very bad experience,Thats men for u.God Should help us in Everything we do.Men old enough to be ur Grandfather,they will want to have their way wit u,can u just imagine,where is this life going to.we cnt jst do witout MEN,their our fathers nd Husband.

  9. Permit me to begin by quoting a higher authority: Human heart is the most deceitful of all & desperately wicked (Jer 17:9).
    The altimate ‘smartness’ is to confide in God’s name, or else anybody could be a victim, be it in Nigeria, Canada or anywhere.
    The rule is simple: “Through personal, not contractual (intermediary’s like pastor, priest, spiritualist et al) put your trust in God. Anything less than that is ‘curse’ (Jer 17:5)!
    Rose, need I tell you that God loves you? What if your Father was alive…? What about other people untold gory stories?
    Everything happens for a purpose. Hope you’re learning your lessons & hoping that these experiences bring you closer to your creator.
    Thanks for sharing this, it’ll surely goes a long way to challenge us to cry for God’s mercy & you can be sure there are still over 7,000 good men around who would not compromise their integrity(1 king 19:18).
    My prayer is that God shall relocate you to locate your blessings through Christ our Lord. Amen.

  10. It was a horrible experience though. Most men are like that.

    But Rose you do not have the discernment to know the man in your first experience has ulterior motive when he kept you in his office beyond official hours up till 9.30pm

    Abeokuta is not the head office of the company you were to be introduced to in your other experience neither is the hotel their human resource department. To me, you cheaply played into their hands. Be careful in all you do and ask God for the spirit of discernment

  11. Rose thanks for sharing this piece on megainsight though not really a shocker, it reveals how dirty Niger men are n that they are dogs/wolves in sheep clothing. Literary speaking men are mean n wicked except for some exceptnal few who have the fear of God, they do not give a care for ladies they think women are toys to experiment with. I hope young ladies out there in search of job will learn 1 or 2 things from the above piece n be weary of this animals call men.

  12. She. Is not smart and observant,.,,,,,,,, is she just hearing about nigeria, not to talk of d nigerian men. My lady, wherever u go be SMART

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