Ordeal of a Boyfriend

“Hello daddy”

“Hey! My sweetest Princess, how are you?”

“I’m great daddy. How are you doing too?”

“I’m kicking well, my dear daughter. How is work?”

Fineeee! Is mummy home?”

“Oh! I thought you met her by the gate. She just left for her friend’s place a few moments ago.”

“Alright. Hope you’ve taken your drugs today, daddy.”

“Yeeees! As you can see, I’m bouncing everywhere. I’m in good shape, my dear.”

Oh yeah; that’s my great dad!”

“Have you seen Aunty Tina? She’s quite busy cooking in the kitchen. You better announce your presence and give your lunch order to her quickly as I won’t share mine with you.”

“Daaady! You never disappoint me for once; always the same you. Anyway, I will see her in a few minutes. But first, let me introduce my boyfriend, Banji, to you. Banji, please meet my handsome dad. Isn’t he looking so young?”

“Yes, he is! Good afternoon, Sir.”

“Good afternoon, young man. My name is Chief Fowosere; the name literally means ‘the man who plays with money.’ My daughter told me about you on phone last night.  You are most welcome to the house of affluence; the true Ile Ola.”

“Thank you, Sir. It’s a great honor meeting you.”

“Dad, let me say ‘hi’ to Aunty Tina in the kitchen while my baby, Banji, keeps your company. I will be back shortly.”

“Alright, my Princess.

 ************************

So, Banji how is life treating you?”

“I’m coping, Sir.”

“You are my Princess’s boyfriend, right?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“That’s very good. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“So, tell me, Banji; where are you from?”

“I’m from Ifeloju Town in Boluwaduro Local Government of Osun state, Sir.”

Ifelojulove is the most important…your town’s name sounds philosophical. Who are your parents and what do they do for a living?”

“Well, my father is a very popular man in our town. He’s the Head of all the hunters in the town, and he also has a shop where he sells nails, cutlasses, and other items, Sir?”

“And your mother?”

“My mother lives with my father in Ifeloju town. She’s a petty trader, Sir.”

“Wow! They must be very poor; am I right?”

“Not too poor, Sir; at least they are not complaining.”

“Hmm! Ifeloju Town you said?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Is that on the map of Nigeria?”

“Aah..aah…I, I’ve… I’ve never checked it out, Sir. But it should be there because we have a King and the town has a population of not less than 1,000 people, Sir.”

“Anyway, let’s leave that. Tell me about your background…your education; what you do; where you live and so on.”

“Thank you, Sir. I had my primary and secondary school education in our town; after which I came to Lagos with four of my friends. We spent the first two years staying together in Lagos without a job or school admission. But we kept struggling, moving from one place to the other; doing some odd jobs at Oyingbo, Oshodi, and Balogun markets.

“Because of my quest for further education, I later went to study on a part-time basis at the Lagos State Polytechnic, Isolo. After obtaining my HND certificate there, I worked as a clerk in a Chemist’s shop for about two years before gaining admission to Lagos State University (LASU) where I graduated with Bachelors Degree in Business Administration. I spent eight years in that school because of the frequent strikes in the country.

“Finally, I was able to graduate but it took me another four years of prostrating about before I could get a job. God answered my prayers about three years ago when I got my present job with a soap manufacturing company owned by some Indians.”

“Wonderful! So how much do they pay you on a monthly basis?”

“As a Supervisor II, my gross salary is N100,000 monthly. But my net take home pay is about N85,000, Sir.”

“I see! Do you have a house?”

“No, Sir. I’m still waiting on the Lord for his blessings.”

“So where do you live?”

“Well, the Lord has been faithful to me, Sir. I command a room and a parlor at Ajangbadi, Sir.”

“Aja…what?”

“Ajangbadi, Sir. It’s not too far from Okokomaiko on the way to Badagry.”

“Did you say ‘on the way to Badagry’?”

“Yes. It seems you’ve never heard of that name before, Sir.”

“Let’s put that aside. Tell me, Banji, has my Princess ever followed you to your place before?”

“No, Sir. She has actually been clamoring to go but…”

“That’s okay…that’s okay…Do you have a car?”

“Not yet, Sir. But I will be entitled to an official car after spending five years with my employer. I have only two years more to qualify for one.”

“Hmm, I like you Banji. You’re a very optimistic young man. But tell me something; which area are we here?”

“You mean this place? I know we are in your mansion, Sir.”

“Of course, we are in my mansion – actually one of my mansions in Lagos – but I want you to tell me the exact part of Lagos we are right here.”

“Oh, sorry Sir; we are in Bourdillion Ikoyi, Lagos.”

“Brilliant guy! Have you ever been to my Princess’s flat before?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Where does she live?”

“Not too far from here, Sir. She lives in Parkview here in Ikoyi.”

“Wonderful. You are a very intelligent young man. Now, tell me, when did you and my Princess meet each other?”

“About two months ago.”

“And how did you meet? How did your paths cross?”

Aaah, I think it was actually a divine setting, Sir. I had followed my Indian boss to Princess’s office that very day. I waited at the reception while my boss went in to her office for a meeting and when they had finished, my boss introduced me to her with an assurance that I would bring my company’s proposal the following day. So, when I went there the second day she was very busy and could not attend to me until about 7.30PM. She later gave me a lift to the nearest bus stop on her way home that evening. Since then, I have been going to her office to deliver messages for my boss and somehow, both of us became friends and…”

“In short, she got to know you in the course of your duties, right?”

“Right, Sir.”

“I will like to know, Banji, what have you two been discussing about your relationship?”

“Oh! Great things, Sir! Princess and I are so much in love with each other and it is our plan to get married one day.”

“Eeee eeeeh?!”

“Yes, Sir!”

“So she loves you and you love her too?”

“Yes, Sir!”

“Has it ever occurred to you that both of you are not in the same class?”

“Ye..eee…yes, that is well recognized by both of us; but I think love transcends class or status, Sir.”

“Can you say that again?”

“I mean love doesn’t have anything to do with wealth or status in the society, Sir. The most important thing is that she loves me and I so much love her too. In fact, she tells me all the time that she doesn’t care about my upbringing or social standing. She says ‘God knows exactly why He has brought both of us together’.”

“Banji!”

“Sir!”

“Convince me that you are not a gold digger.”

“Sir, I, I… I’m not a… I have a good job. I live in my…”

“Shut up, my friend! You must be a thief. You of all people in this world want to marry my daughter? Look here, young man, my Princess will never marry you because the two of you are not in the same class. Look at you! You had the gut to open your mouth to talk to me about love? What do you know about love? You want to tell me you are also a man, right? You are not a man without money, okay? Did your father, the hunter, ever tell you about a Yoruba proverb that says, ‘Iwon eku ni iwon ite’? You have to stay within your boundary, because you are not in my daughter’s class. Go back to your Ajangba…whatever to find your mate there. Am I clear enough?”

“But …”

“Don’t just but me…and don’t ever blame me. It is just the way life is. This is not where you belong. When a rich man talks, a poor man must bow. Princess already has a fiancé…the man who is qualified to have her as a wife. Is that clear?”

“Please, Sir. Maybe you should also hear from Princess herself.”

“Hear from Princess herself? Anyway, I know your problem so I will help you out. I am ready to give you a sum of N1 million straightaway. That should change your life and make you leave my daughter alone. Okay?”

“It’s not about money, Sir. Princess and I love each other so dearly…”

“Daddyyyy…”

“Yeees, my Princess!”

“Aunty Tina is ready; table is set for lunch…please come over here…”

“Okay, my dear. Just a minute… I will be there now…”

“Please come with my sweetheart; he must be hungry too…”

“Banji, did you hear that? If you dare follow me to that dining table you would be dead within seconds. You better tell her you are not hungry and stay right where you are seated.”

“But…”

“Shhhhhhh! Keep shut! My verdict is clear and simple: Keep away from my daughter!”

“Dadddyyy…the food will get cold…I’m sure you and Banji are discussing soccer over there…”

“I’m on my way, sweet Princess…”

**********************

“BJ, BJ, what’s up? You look so sad!”

“Why won’t I be, Godwin? I had a horrible experience with Princess’s dad this afternoon.”

“What happened?”

“It’s a long story, but the summary is that he walked me out of his house. He doesn’t want to see me and his daughter together any longer.”

“So why is that a problem? Fashi joo.

“How can you say that, Godwin? You; my best friend, of all people!”

“Look, Banji, I’ve told you times without number to forget that lady. Both of you are not on the same level. Thank God the father has not sent some rascals to cut off your head.”

“It seems you don’t know how much I love Princess.”

“Love my foot! Do you want to be a ‘husband wife’ to a rich man’s daughter?”

“No, not that… But…”

“Then heed her father’s advice. One thing you must know is that class will continue to exist in the world till thy kingdom come. Perhaps you would have been lucky if Princess’s father had been a nice man. But now that you’ve seen that he’s a devil, my advice to you is to leave his daughter alone. Look, even angels are not equal in heaven.”

“Are you then trying to tell me that a poor man is doomed forever?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. But let a poor man also become rich before aspiring to go after a wealthy man’s Princess.”

“Hmm, this Nigeria is something else.”

“BJ, it has nothing to do with Nigeria. It happens everywhere; most especially in Africa. The rich are friends to the rich and the poor are friends to the poor. Birds of the same feather flock together!”

“If that is the case, Goddy, it means I must be rich by all means.”

“How?”

“Whether by hook, crook, or kumo, I must just become rich in this country. Enough of all these oppressions everywhere!”

“I hope you are not contemplating becoming an armed robber or 419ner because of one rich man’s ugly Princess…”

“Hold it there, Goddy. My Princess is not ugly. And it’s none of your business how I make my money.”

Hmm, kadan kada oo. Softly, softly, my good friend; I still need you around.”

Facebook Comments

3 thoughts on “Ordeal of a Boyfriend”

  1. quite an interesting piece .

    i will not allow my child to marry a poor man or lady.

    In this country it is a crime to be poor.

    My interpretation include intellectual porverty.

Comments are closed.