Thank God the President is okay

 

“Did you see the pictures?”

 

“Which pictures?”

 

“The pictures that the APC governors took with our president in London, of course. Ah, I’m soooo happy.”

 

“Well, I did. But what has that got to do with me.”

 

“Haba! Aren’t you happy that the president is hale and hearty?”

 

“Okay o, I wish him well.”

 

“No, you don’t have to wish him anything. He’s well already. I’m so happy he’s doing fine in London.”

 

“Hmmn, and what makes you think so?”

 

“Why are you being so negative, mister man? You saw someone seated, laughing and eating with the governors, yet you’re still acting as if it’s all a lie. What kind of a man are you?”

 

“No, please don’t put any word into my mouth, ogbeni. I’ve only asked you a simple question.”

 

“Alright, if that’s the case, I will answer you. Those pictures are real, our governors were with him, they discussed and ate together. Finish! If you like, don’t believe me.”

 

“I believe you.”

 

“No, you don’t. Your body language doesn’t show that you believe any of those reports.”

 

“I said, ‘I believe’, abi wahala wa nibe ni? What’s your problem sef?”

 

“Ah, you Nigerians are so difficult to please.”

 

“You better think properly before you start blaming anybody.”

 

“I don’t have to do any thinking. I just hate the way you guys have been behaving since the president took ill. It’s not fair at all. Even when the Vice President came back from London and he told everyone that the president was doing well, many of you still doubted him. Can a person like that tell a lie?”

 

“Well, most Nigerian politicians are liars.”

 

“No way! Our VP is a pastor. He can never tell a lie. I can vouch for him with my one-year salary.”

 

“I hear you.”

 

“Now the APC governors are back from London but you’re still in doubt as to how the president is doing.”

 

“Look, I think you just want to force me to talk. I will talk, shebi o fe gbo’ro ni. Listen to me very well.”

 

Oya talk. I’m all ears.”

 

“I don’t believe the governors until I am fully convinced.”

 

“Holy Ghost! What else do you want for Christ sake?”

 

“My demand is very simple.”

 

“And what could that be, mister man?”

 

“I will not believe anyone until someone, somewhere in Aso Rock or anywhere takes me to London to see the president personally.”

 

“Chai!! You’re a real case.”

 

“Oga, it is a simple demand. I also want to have breakfast and lunch with the president. When my demand is met, I would believe you and every other person in APC.”

 

“Ah! O ga fun e oo. Na wah for una.”

 

“Na you sabi. I don talk my own. By the way, you must also get me a UK visa to make the trip possible.”

 

“I beg go siddon, olodo upon twenty. Who will take you to London?”

 

“Eh, it’s so simple. I will continue to doubt all of you.”

 

“Who cares? Aponle lasan lasan.”