Let them say. Let them talk. No matter the hard feelings against us, no matter what they think about us; the fact remains that we are so special, and we are wonderful. We are Nigerian men. My thumbs are up for each and every Nigerian man, irrespective of where he may be – London or Lagos, Accra or Rabat.
My thumbs are quite sacrosanct to me so I don’t just raise them up anyhow. But when I do, it must be for special reasons. And I have some cogent reasons for raising them up for Nigerian men.
When I Doff My Hat for Lagos Ladies was published on this site, a number of guys accused me of being partial. But I did make a promise. I told them I would soon pay my respect to my fellow men. This is what I’m doing here today. And if you have a great nose for partiality, you would immediately sniff my positive partiality from the title of this post – partiality in favor of men. Can you smell it? Well, here it is: Instead of restricting my praises to Lagos men only, I am actually extending my accolades to all Nigerian men wherever they may be in this world. Don’t blame me for this. It is because I know my “brothers” very well. We are all the same all over. It doesn’t matter where we are based. In any case, that’s what ladies say. They claim that “All men are the same.” They are right. I agree with them when it comes to our marvelous attributes as men.
Talking about Nigerian men doesn’t require too much rhetoric. We are just a wonderful people. When you read 10 Things to Know about Nigerians, you will learn a number of things about Nigerians as a people. But many of what you have in that piece relate to Nigerian men. And they are fine qualities to have.
How best does one talk about such a nice people? Without due care, one would swim into so many areas like entrepreneurship, sports, politics, religion and so forth. Doing so may lead to writing a whole book. And it is not my aim to write a book on my gene – the Nigerian man’s genetic material.
So I have found a way out. I will concentrate on the relationship aspect. I will talk about the Nigerian man’s home front, hoping that this will interest you; and believing that you may not necessarily be concerned with his political leaning or soccer addiction.
I have a promise to make, and I will not break it. I promise not to exaggerate. I will say what I know; which is the way it is. But you have the right to find out for yourself since Nigerian men are not hard to find. We are in every society; from Nigeria to Nicaragua, Asia to Oceania, and Africa to America. We are everywhere!
I also promise not to give a long list of attributes. I will compress everything to three. These three aspects of our life are enough for you to make up your mind, or change your mind positively about us.
Here they are:
- Love and care;
Love and Care
I am learning fast these days. I am beginning to understand how terribly our ladies misunderstand us. A large number of Nigerian ladies erroneously believe that we Nigerian men are not loving and caring. It is not so. It is a misconception. How else does a man love a woman the way we do? Here is a man who does not think of anything other than his family.
Yes, his family comes first in whatever he does. Have you taken note of those men who drop their vehicles for their wives and children, and then proceed to hop on okada to get to work? Have you noticed the neighbor who goes hungry just because he doesn’t want to shorten the food ration for his wife and children? Have you suddenly forgotten those men who were pacing up and down the hospital corridors praying fervently for their wives who were in the labour rooms? Those are Nigerian men. We care, and we love.
I’ve heard it before. It is a common saying among our ladies when they gossip about us. They claim that Nigerian men are not romantic. What a lie! We are not romantic, yet they cling to us delicately? Why do you think those white ladies are always after Nigerian men? It is because they understand true romance more than their African counterparts. They appreciate what Nigerian men give in the name of romance. Well, maybe they are easier to satisfy in terms of romance. Our ladies probably over demand, so to say; who knows?
Still on this issue of romance, what exactly do Nigerian ladies want from Nigerian men? A man works so hard from Monday to Friday and devotes the whole of Saturday to you; yet you accuse him of not being romantic enough. He spends the bigger chunk of his salaries on you every month; yet you say he’s not romantic. He exhausts his phone airtime on “I love you baby, I love you sweetie,” calling you every now and then; yet you say he’s not romantic. Haba! Let’s fear God oo.
I was busy defending someone recently and his wife asked me to swear if I wasn’t aware that her husband had a girlfriend. I was shocked! Why would I do that? And how would I know that? Well, I know he has many admirers, but I’m not sure which of them qualifies for the title of “girlfriend.” This is another aspect that our women get quite wrong – including our spinsters. Why are they so jealous? Why are they suddenly becoming vigilantes? Take this from me ladies; Nigerian men are so committed. We are committed to you, even to a fault.
But let me quickly make a confession before you sneer at me. It is human to err. And Nigerian men are human. For any Nigerian man that strays off, you should have the confidence that he will return to you. There is no need to sweat. He keeps those “parasites” far from you. You are his true eye, and he respects you so much.
By the way, have you ever heard of those men in other lands who suddenly disappear into thin air without being kidnapped by UFOs? And do you know for how long they disappear? Hmm, I will tell you. Some of them take off for two weeks, one month, or three months without looking back. When you look at the cause, it is usually something so irrelevant; as minor as a simple argument over ordinary toothpaste. He thinks the toothpaste should be pressed at the base, his woman believes it should be from the middle. He then flares up and flies away like a jet; leaving his woman and kids behind without care.
A Nigerian man is not like that. He may get upset and walk out. But he will soon return home to eat your dinner; the same food that earlier got him upset. That is his nature. It is because of his commitment to you. Please keep your Nigerian man well. He is a highly committed man.
If there is any area where the Nigerian men score so high a mark, it is in the area of greasing their relationships with money. If he’s married, a Nigerian man makes sure that he takes adequate care of his children financially. He gives them the best. He also showers his wife with money.
To make the point much clearer, let’s look at what women generally do with their money. A Nigerian woman collects her pay, and she saves 90% of it. The remaining 10% goes to the church or mosque. That’s what most of our women do. They then turn to their men. It doesn’t matter whether she’s married or not. They are all the same. Gentlemen, are you with me?
Should I fire on? Okay. This woman, as I said, turns to her man. She starts to make demands for this or that. And you will be surprised the way she makes her requests. She will keep on using the word “we” as if what she wants would belong to both of them. That’s their nature. And trust the Nigerian man. He is a kind man. He keeps giving and giving. Well, it has been said before; “it is for a man to give, and for the woman to receive.”
A Nigerian man collects his salary at the end of the month. He manages to eat one sumptuous lunch out of it. The remaining amount goes straight to his woman. And it goes in different ways. He must pay for his woman’s new dress, jewelry, shoes, and bags. He must also pay the hairdresser’s fee. That new hairstyle on his wife’s head doesn’t come cheap. And does it end there? No. He also pays for manicure, pedicure, and every other cure his woman does. How about her frequent and consistent requests for recharge cards? You bet! Ah, I commend Nigerian men.
Pardon me for concentrating so much on married couples. It doesn’t mean that the benevolence is restricted to married men only. The bachelors probably spend more on their ladies. You must have heard of that man who bought a brand new car for his gal. You probably know that handsome neighbor who sponsored his beauty’s university education. Perhaps you also observed that those guys got jilted by their ladies at the end.
O mase o, those are the kinds of sacrifices Nigerian men make with their money. Some ladies can be so mean! And do they feel bad about their actions? Never! Instead of shame, they simply brush it aside as if it’s not a big deal. They even have slang for such actions. Do you know their slang? They tell the man, “idi je ee,” that is to say, “bottom has eaten it.” Now you can see how some ladies use their assets to “eat” innocent men’s money. What a shame!
Once again, I give kudos to all Nigerian men. And here is my advice to you all. Irrespective of what your lady does to you, just remain a man. Pick only the good out of her, and ignore her bad spots. Of course, you know who women are; don’t you? Continue to be a real man that you are. Keep those 12 Marks of a Real Man to heart and you will continue to be a man. Yes, they may fight; yes, they may aspire; yes, they may struggle to be like us. But it will never happen. A man will always be a man. And he will forever be the head. That is what the Holy Book of Wisdom says. And I believe it.
I give a standing ovation to Nigerian men!